The Thing About Grandparents

The thing about grandparents is that apparently it is their job, and pleasure, to undo everything you have done. It's as if they have put in their time raising children and now they just want to spoil yours. But having been a parent for two years, I realize that grandparenting is a privilege. They have put in their time with teaching things like manners and how to act appropriately. They have instructed us how to treat others and have mended hurt feelings. They have watched, at times nervously, in hopes that we would make good decisions. They have raised us and even let us go. Now it is their turn to have fun.

Restaurant visits for us either go very well or end up in a time out. Eating in a social establishment is a life skill and therefore we find it necessary to model this for Isis. A few weeks ago we went to a restaurant and she was all over the place. She could not sit in her chair so she climbed in the booth. From there she proceeded to play peek-a-boo with other diners. She then decided the seat was a trampoline and bounced around like a child who had too much Nestle Quik. She ended up in time out.

We take these times in stride. We understand they are necessary and usually present a teachable moment. They don't keep us home, but they do challenge our ability to be consistent.

Enter Pop-Pop. He knows that he will only see Isis for a short time and that he will undo everything we have taught her and then pack up and leave. I am pretty sure he laughs as he drives down the road knowing that we now must start all over.

When Isis heard that Grammy and Pop-Pop were coming she only wanted to go to one place with them...the ice cream store. Now Grammy not only loves ice cream, but absolutely loves spoiling her grandchildren so it took no persuasion whatsoever when Isis suggested "ebees dore." And off we went to Dairy Queen.

And off Pop-Pop went to work. He taught Isis how to hold her spoon in her mouth. He let her stand in her booth. I think she may have even bounced. At one point Grammy and Pop-Pop and Isis all had their spoons pointed straight up in the air, no hands. Then Pop-Pop and Isis began to sword fight with them. I pondered whether or not Pop-Pop needed a time out.

Before Isis was born I remember reading an article about how to adjust to your parents becoming grandparents. The article suggested that it is my job raise Isis. I set the expectations. I teach the manners and uphold the timeouts. I kiss the bruises and give the hugs that make it feel all better. I teach the life skills, the social skills, and anything else I deem necessary. But it is the job of the grandparents to just do the grandparent thing. If I am so busy teaching Isis the right way to eat, someone needs to show her the fun way. Who cares if she is spoon fighting with Pop-Pop. Who cares if Grammy wants to buy her a new toy every time she comes. Who cares if Maw-Maw drives Pooh Bear all the way to Virginia every time she visits.

These are the joys of grandparent hood. They have done the dirty work for thirty two years now. They deserve to finally have some fun. Isis is so blessed to have grandparents who care for her and want to make her happy. She loves them and knows them and has expectations from each of them when they arrive. So here you go grandparents. Here is your Get Out of Jail Free Card. Enjoy your granddaughter.