Picked up Isis last night. Her poop was neon green. Way too many fruit snacks and ice pops.
She responded...
Detox week, oh joy.
Detox week. It's the term we've deemed the week following Grammy Camp. The week where our children come back home to us exhausted, spoiled, delirious, and addicted to so much sugar that we honestly have to begin a slow transition back to a normal diet because the truth is their body couldn't hack healthy food right away. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. The week Isis returns from Grammy and Pop-Pops takes some careful planning in helping her little body adjust back to reality.
Let me give you a little glimpse of what happens at Grammy Camp. Isis asks Pop-Pop for an ice pop and he asks how many? How many? I thought he might like to ask her what color, what flavor, where she might like to eat it. But how many? And Isis totally gets it because she quickly tells him, two. And she gets two.
One morning after breakfast Isis reported to me that Grammy said she could have fruit snacks if she finished her shoo fly pie. I'm sorry, how are two desserts considered breakfast? Okay, we are in fact Mennonite so I guess shoo fly pie could in fact be considered a viable breakfast food. But seriously, topping it off with fruit snacks which are neither a fruit nor really a snack.
This year I picked Isis up in Carlisle after Grammy Camp. On our drive home we stopped at a rest area and Isis pooped a shade of green that I believe should not pass through a human body. Grammy had earlier explained that Isis had crapped a lovely shade of blue. I just wanted to get my baby home and get her poop to a normal color.
But I knew I couldn't do it too quickly. Isis would come to me and say things like, We had popsicles AND fruitsnacks AND juiceboxes because that is what happens at Grammy Camp. Or another personal favorite of mine...We ate marshmellows in our underwear in Al's field. A few years ago I granted all grandparents a "get out of jail free" card. As long distance grandparents I gave them my blessing to take my children and be their grandparents because it is a title that is earned once you've put in your twenty-one years as a parent.
But the truth is I cringe when I leave her there for a week. I know it is not likely a vegetable will enter her body. I know every time I Skype with her she will have high fructose corn syrup in some form dripping down her naked chest. I know she will come home an absolute wreck and that God will need to grant me rare patience to cope with her and detox her. And I know that even though her body has been filled with, well, shit...her mind has been filled with memories that not even I could put there.
2 comments:
"One morning after breakfast Isis reported to me that Grammy said she could have fruit snacks if she finished her shoo fly pie."
I totally laughed out loud- LOUD. You're so fun and funny. This was a hoot to read (at the expense of your daughter's liver). And I LOVE that last picture- pure joy.
Ahh, detox and green poop. Only you, my dear sista, can write about that in such an interesting and eloquent way that leaves me laughing and puking at the same time. Can't wait to see my kids' poops next year when they can actually attend Grammy Green & Blue Poop Camp"
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