2. Think about how messy and inefficient it will be. Quickly think of other things you could do instead.
3. Let your 4 year old ask again if you would like an indoor picnic for lunch.
4. Let her tell you how she will get all the food ready and you won't have to do anything.
5. Tell her it's a fantastic idea. Seriously, I don't have to do anything for this?
6. Think about what she should be eating instead, but then remind yourself that this was her idea and that no matter how much it's going to complicate things, that her ideas need to be affirmed and appreciated.
7. Tell her to go for it.
8. Give her a few plates and bowls and see where it goes.
9. Lay down a blanket in the living room...not too close to furniture because chocolate milk might get launched from the picnic into the couch. Might.
10. Strap the baby into her seat because we seriously don't need her help in any of this.
11. Let your 4 year old set the menu...ritz crackers topped with laughing cow cheese...three pieces of colby cheese just in case you didn't get enough laughing cow cheese...animal crackers just in case you want crackers without cheese...fruit snacks...go-gurt...flavored honey sticks...chocolate milk with silly straws...dried apricots because we really should have fruit but don't eat it because that would be normal and this picnic certainly isn't.
12. Remove clothing because picnics are best enjoyed in partial nudity (children only please).
13. Insert Elton John cd for background music and optimal listening enjoyment.
14. Begin eating..feel very good at first but quickly become sickened by the sugar intake. Choke down the go-gurt and smile as the honey stick washes down the fruit snacks that didn't get washed down by the chocolate milk.
15. Remind your four year old what a fun time you're having and what a wonderful idea this was.
16. Let her begin to wander around the house.
17. As she re-enters the living room, allow her foot to launch your chocolate milk directly into your couch. Clean up.
18. Meanwhile, allow 4 year old to drip large amounts of go-gurt between her legs and onto the blanket.
19. Avoid puking if possible.
20. Suggest a dried apricot perhaps.
21. Be denied.
22. Finish picnic and throw blanket directly into washer.
23. Before you finish cleaning up, watch your four year put on every pair of underwear she owns...again.
24. Wonder what in the hell just happened, what is happening, or what will happen next.
25. Remember you could have a predictable office job.
26. Conclude that this is much better.
2 comments:
the 'tea party' is next up
Good grief. I think I prefer my office job =) That's the Isis we know and love best. I just wish you would've let Eliza out and see what she could've done. I do love inside picnics though. The fun is the preparing. Eating, so-so. Clean-up, not so fun at all. Too bad we couldn't just pick up plates, cups etc with the blanket and throw them all into the washer together. Now that would be sweet.
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