Behold the Power

I believe motherly instinct is one of the most powerful forces in the world.  There, I said it.  I have felt it, I have watched it, and now I have declared it.  Mostly because while God has instilled in women this force unlike any other, He also gave us brains which often don't match what our gut is telling us.  Then we begin arguing with ourserlves over silly things and wonder who we have become.

When Isis was born I was amazed at what intuition was telling me.  Men, I'm not saying this to offend you.  I'm saying this because I am right.  A mother is always right.  At least when it comes to what is in the best interest of her baby and their safety. It's best just to accept this and nod every time your wife says something baby related.  It's a battle you won't win.  Ever.  Now once that baby gets older and behaviors become a factor, mostly likely the father will have a chance to be right.

Let me paint a picture for you.  I always think of those national geographic shows where a predator stealthily attempts to prey upon some cute, unsuspecting baby.  The mother then puts herself in harms way to herd her young babies back to safety as she glares at the predator who then slinks away because what is up with that mama?  Yup. 

But the tricky part of this is that God also gave mothers a brain which usually tries to talk our instinct out of something.  Your gut will tell you to put your baby to bed at a particular time so that the rest of the day and the night and the next day and really the rest of the week will go more smoothly. But your brain tells you to snap out of it and if your baby misses a nap it's okay because maybe you could go eat ice cream instead.  And there sits the poor mother whose gut and brain are constantly fighting and whose poor unsuspecting husband is just trying to help but really has no idea so shut up.

A mother's instinct to protect and sustain is not a force to be reckoned with.  But it does make her psycho and she realizes it so cut her some slack.

I remember when Isis was 18 months old she participated in a music class.  As the kids were playing their instruments and parading around the room, some little punk boy started pushing his limits and bumping into Isis for no reason other than the fact that this is how kids learn.  But as I watched this little boy my instinct overtook my rational thought and like a momma cheetah I attacked him at full speed and pulled his legs off.  No I didn't.  Luckily, my brain took over on that one and I let his mother sort it out, which she did.  Motherly instinct is extremely primal which is a very weird feeling considering we're civilized and all.

Sometimes when we sit down for supper Chris feeds Eliza.  Sometimes it's a bit of a disaster.  She screams and points and grunts and starts getting rutchy and Chris asks what the problem is.  It can be very hard not to dictate step by step what needs to happen.  I just want to take over.  Not because Chris isn't doing his best but because I can read her like no one else can.  She is screaming because she wants to pick up her quesadilla by herself.  It needs to be whole, not in pieces.  She is pointing because she wants Isis' water bottle, not hers.  She is grunting because she wants her strawberries on her fork.  She is rutchin' because she has to poop. Why do I know these things?  Because I am the mother.

Every time I have a friend who is expecting her first child I give the same piece of advice to everyone...People will give you advice.  So will books and the internet.  But your best resource is motherly instinct. Now having said that I would like unsuspecting mothers to understand that sometimes your brain needs to trump that.

It's all very contradictory isn't it?  Like I said, your gut says this, your brain says that, this book says something different, your friend tried this, and it leaves you driving yourself crazy.  You will tell yourself that you have failed.  You haven't.  You will continue to have those things that you obsess about and just cannot let go.  Sometimes your instinct just takes control.  That is okay.  For me that is making sure my kids go to bed on time all the time. For someone else, that is making sure her daughter gets a bath every single night.  Leave her alone and let her do it.  For someone else, it is making sure naps take place every single day.  Stick to it. For someone else, it is staying away from germs.  Good luck with that.  I know that inside you don't want to be psycho about it, but God has cursed you with the desire and ability to do everything you can for your child.