Tomorrow

Dear Isis,

Tomorrow is a big day.  Tomorrow you turn five. Every year on my birthday Grammy calls to tell me about the day I was born.  She starts off by stating my age then tells me how that many years ago in one of the biggest blizzards in history, I was born.  I always roll my eyes at her and wonder why she keeps telling me that story. But now that I think back to the day you were born, I start to cry and think about how amazing it was to hear you cry for the first time and I begin to understand Grammy's sentiments.

I'd like to think that in five years I've taught you a lot of important lessons and have influenced you in a lot of positive ways.  But the truth is I think you've taught me more about myself in five years that I could have learned in thirty-four.

Isis, tomorrow you will be five and I want you to know you are the silliest child I have ever met.  Sometimes I try to sit and play games with you or teach you how to do something and all you want to do is talk about silly things and laugh your face off.  People often tell me what a great belly laugh you have and how amazed they are at your sense of humor.  But what I love most is how you laugh with your belly and smile with your eyes.  Most people do both of those things with their mouths.

Sometimes people ask me what you like to do and I say "anything gross motor related."  Child, you just want to keep moving. Largely.  I've given you scissors and markers and tried to teach you to make letters but you really don't have time for such things.  You would much rather be riding, swinging, running, twirling, spinning, swimming, kicking, throwing, or dancing.  Who cares if you canwrite your name cause you sure can run.  The letter s is half your name and you should know how to make it.  I think you should know that. But I'll let your kindergarten teacher fight that battle with you.

I don't know many other five year olds who ask to watch Joni Mitchell videos or ask to be Elton John for Halloween. You have songs memorized by the Beatles, Creedence Clearwater, The Band, Bob Dylan, Old Crow Medicine Show, Jimmy Buffet and the Wiggles. Sometimes in the car I just listen to you sing instead of the cd.  I hope your love for music sticks with you.  I hope your taste in music sticks too because, man, you're pretty cool.

You really do like things just so. Apples need to be sliced in tiny pieces because you won't eat them if they are too big. I don't know why you won't just try cereal with milk on top.  It's a very normal thing. But I"ll be patient. I wish I could patent seamless socks for you and resolve all sock issues you have and how awful they make your feet feel. Really capri pants look very cute but I think I understand that they are neither really shorts nor pants and therefore really have no place sitting in your drawer.

You have a little sister who absolutely adores you and sometimes my heart smiles when I watch her try to be like you.  I am so proud of your patience when she whacks you with things and tries to take what you have.  I love to watch you find other things for her to do.  But what I love most is listening to you explain things to her like how to eat sweet corn.  The truth is, she will probably learn more things from you than she will from me so keep the lessons coming, even when they get tough.

Isis, tomorrow afternoon at 3:30 pm you will turn five years old. That's not a very big number. There are a lot more numbers that you will turn. But it doesn't matter what the number is because starting with day one, my love for you was bigger than anything I'd ever felt. Happy Birthday Baby Girl.

I love you.