True story. About five days ago I received a text message from an awesome mom that read...Would you keep my kids if I gave you big bucks? I don't think I'm kidding. Apparently it had been a loooong night. Approximately 12 hours later I received another different text from another awesome mom that consisted of nothing more than 7 expletives. When I got the text I laughed my face off, then remembered her misery. Approximately 30 minutes after that I found a third awesome mom greeting me at the door on the verge of tears while her two year old cried her way through a time out.
At first I thought the time change must still be lingering. Kids are acting all weird and crazy and parents are exhausted and no longer have coping skills. After all, I had received the expletive text around 8:00 am. What sequence of events could possibly go wrong in that amount of time to cause such frustration? Well the answer is....any number of events since her day officially started at 4:30 a.m. Way to go awesome mom #2. You win.
On being a parent...
Now wouldn't it be awesome if we could all bring home these little babies from the hospital who rock at nursing and sleep through the night? They only cry when they really need something and let you continue to live your adult life in a dignified manner. They then grow into sweet little toddlers who say things like please and thank you and here you go friend, I didn't want that toy anyway, why don't you take a turn? When you tell them no, they listen and redirect themselves with something more constructive anyway. And they ask for things like green beans and beets. Then you take pictures of them with instagram looking clean and cute and put together and post it on facebook so all the mothers out there can look at your children instead of the disaster called a kitchen and the continued attempt at life.
Well screw that because if that's what I wanted I would have offered to babysit for someones sweet kids then sent them home when I was done. Or maybe I would have adopted a twenty five year old. Or I would have gotten a dog who would walk beside me and cuddle when I wanted and let me sleep when I wanted. But the truth is, if you want to be a parent, you have to put in the time. Hard time. Probably some of the hardest time in your life.
It's during this time that you introduce words like share and take turns and I'm sorry and time out. You say things like if you do this, then this will happen or you have a choice here. And you do things like pick up screaming, kicking children and place them somewhere in a corner and run like mad because they chase after you with a quick swat before they cross over the imaginary time out line. And if you are like me, you compound time outs from the normal three minutes to the ever impressive, record breaking eighteen minutes. Yep, I signed up for all of this when I decided to be a parent. It's because being a parent is the hardest job in the world because you're raising a human.
Then one day in the midst of yet another crazy morning, you see your little monster reach into her bowl of goldfish and gently give one to her friend. And you realize you have actually taught sharing. Or you watch from a distance as your older child volunteers an apology to your younger child. And you realize you have actually taught I'm sorry. Or one evening after the rush and chaos of supper you hear the words, can I help you with something? And after you faint, you wake up and realize you have taught responsibility.
There are many traits that people are just born with. But studies have also proven that many character traits are learned because someone has taught or modeled them. It has been my experience thus far that the teaching far outweighs the learning. I teach and teach and teach and teach and somewhere down the road they learn. They always do. And I think that is what makes me a parent...remembering that this is both a privilege and a job. We all have mornings that start somewhere in the middle of the night and we have all woken up and counted down the hours until we put our kids to bed. And we've all questioned if we've done the right thing or if our children are normal. Another awesome mom once told me...Every night I say a prayer. If the day has gone well, I thank God for a good day. And if the day was horrible, I thank him for tomorrow for a chance to try again.
4 comments:
Hooray I win, although I'm not sure it's really a win when it starts at 4:30am???? Thanks for keeping it real once again Buddy! This to shall pass.
K
Love this. Parents like you make my job much, much easier. It's challenging to teach character education to kids who have not seen character modeled. I love your parenting style. You are as awesome mom to 2 beautiful girls.
-Maria
So, what character trait have you taught to your 1 year old when she looks at you with a big smile, pushes out a fart, and then laughs?
I knew Kar was the #2 mom winner. I was the winner when my kids were that young too. Beck, it says alot about the friend you are that people are coming to you for help. I was in tears the other day bc my kids are so disrespectful and rude and disobedient - it helps to remember the other times. Like when Bodie sees I have a headache and rubs my shoulders (which doesn't help at all but the thought makes me cry) or when Emma says thank you for supper out of the blue. It builds more character in me I think than them.
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