Rewind to Winter

It was a long winter. As a matter of fact Chris installed our air conditioner yesterday and I'm pretty sure we turned the heat off only two weeks ago. There wasn't much of an in between this year.  We seem to have jumped straight from the cold to the heat and humidity.  Today the girls were swimming.

I can't even tell you how many school days Isis missed this year and how many delays she had.  I actually spoke with her principal on the phone.  Not because of the snow days, but because of Isis' faulty attendance this year.  Yep, she was close to 20 absences between sicknesses and vacations.  Leave it to the former teacher to receive the notification that an Attendance Improvement Plan would need to be implemented should any more unexcused absences take place.  That was all before she got strep twice.  Pair that up with 20 some snow days and I'm pretty sure Isis has only completed half of first grade.  So when me and Big P (that's what I call her principal cause we're buddies now) were talking, she was mentioning what a crazy winter it had been with all the unpredictable weather and what not. She seemed sympathetic even though she was all mad at me.

So what exactly does a parent do when her child misses weeks at a time from school?  Well for one, we have mandatory outside time.  We spend a good half hour bundling up so Isis can stay for hours and Eliza can stay for 20 minutes tops.

We tunnel.

We suck snow.

 

We look cute.

 

After fun in the snow we come inside for our baking lesson.  I honestly can't remember what we were making that day but it appears to be some sort of muffin.  As I scooped out the last of the batter, I still had about 6 empty spaces in the muffin tin.  So I did what my mom always did and filled them with water.  It was then I asked Isis why she thought we did that.  She explained to me that adding water to the cups helps to ensure that the pan doesn't burn. Man you are a freaking smart kid for never going to school, I thought to myself.  And while Isis awed me with her school-less smarts, Eliza dove in head first and drank the water.

 

 

She's pretty smart too. I mean, she somehow convinced her wise older sister that licking tin water is a fantastic idea.  And when Isis quickly followed suit, I began to question her common sense.  We already know Eliza has none.  Tin licker. I apologize three months late if any of you came to my house and ate these muffins. Cooking with kids is sanitary.

 

And lastly when every last movie had been watched, the snow had been exhausted, Barbies and dolls had been scattered throughout the house, and every game had been played... you do the unthinkable.  You open a salon. Please don't tell anyone I went to high school with.

 

 

Hey, at least it's not Layaway (which is a game I used to play and a game I thought everyone played until two years ago when my friends all laughed in my face and said You played WHAT!?  I thought all little girls knew how to pick out clothes they couldn't pay for and put them on layaway until they could afford them.)  Okay, so my kids don't know how to play layaway because I buy their clothes for full price at thrift stores.  But anyway, as a final resort and prayer that tomorrow school would come again, I let my girls open a beauty salon.

 

This happened...

 

 

So about painted nails..the last time I had my nails painted was for Kate's wedding.  I love her so much that in honor of her wedding I left the polish on for seven months.  Not being one to paint my nails regularly, I didn't own any nail polish remover. I decided to let it dissolve but the process was slow and painful.  I couldn't believe how long that shit stayed on.  Needless to say I did not let this paint job linger much more than a day.

 

And the grand finale, drumroll please...

 

 

Don't even try and borrow my purses cause you can't. And if the rice bag on my neck doesn't convince you that I am relaxed and peaceful, perhaps the look on my face will.  Perhaps not. Perhaps it's time to teach my children the game of Layaway. Don't judge. Thank God it's spring.