Vaaaa-cation Here We Come

We are leaving tomorrow to spend a week in Cape Cod with Maw Maw, that is Isis talk for Grandma. Please don't feel that this list is in any way a complaint. It isn't. I find humor in most things and find it easiest when things have gotten completely out of control. For example, when Chris started his company, money was very very tight. It was ridiculous. But we didn't really know what else to do so Chris would claim he was going up stairs to do work he wouldn't get paid for and I would respond by telling him I would pay the bills with money we didn't have. Then we would shrug and laugh because that seemed much better than crying. Anyway, you will sense much randomness in this blog. We are exhausted. We need a vacation.

And here is why...

1. Chris works most days and then again most nights.
2. Our dates are now taking place in the 45 minute duration Isis is in Sunday School.
3. I am ready to speak grown-up again. Spending all day with two toddlers reduces my vocabulary to words like good job, his turn, her turn, use your words, no hitting, no standing, time out, potty, num-nums, don't stick that in there, wipe it up, good work, say excuse me, no running, when is daddy coming home, etc. etc. etc. I personally have mastered most of these skills and would like to sit down and master a bottle of good wine.
4. Our garden is done.
5. Our microwave, refrigerator, blender, food processor, and portable dvd player all broke within months of each other.
6. Our 4 runner needed four new tires.
7. Items #5 and #6 require the money that I was suggesting we don't have. So we decided to spend it and then spend some more on vacation. Sometimes our judgement is poor so we pretend to be rich.
8. Isis is demanding Maw Maw, yogurt bites, hotel, and movie. She knows what to expect on vacation.
9. I wiped pee off the floor yesterday and poop off of fingers today. I am praying nobody gets pinkeye.
10. Ugly Wife Day has turned into Ugly Wife Month. I am looking for any excuse to put on real clothes and style my hair.
11. I felt the effects of two dinner plates forcefully flung across the kitchen. I'm sick of wearing food. Unless of course it is a cheesesteak. I would wear that for a while and eat it later.
12. I want a meal that consists of more than four left-over chicken nugget bites. I swore I would never be the mother who ate off her child's plate. I don't do it for the purpose of not wasting food. I do it because I am hungry.
13. Chris wants to order a $90.00 lobster, just like the time he accidentally did in the Outer Banks.
14. I want to wake up and enjoy my coffee while it's still hot.
15. I want a date with my husband while Isis enjoys a date with Maw Maw. I think everyone wins in this situation.
16. Our house is in a lovely, lovely state.

I think that is all, but give me an hour and I will probably have a few more to add. None of this really bothers me too bad, but it does feel awfully nice just to say it. We are getting out. Visit me in a week.