Roots and Wings

We brought her home from the hospital and laid her in her crib. She was so tiny in that big bed with wooden sides. I didn't know how to best dress her for the weather so instead I cried because I was already overwhelmed at the decisions I had to make. She was two days old.

We took the bumper off the crib and scooted it to the other side of the room. Chris took off the side rail and installed the toddler rail. She crawled into the bed by herself and flopped around. She was so big in that toddler bed. But not nearly as big as her pride. She smiled and I blinked back tears. She was two years old.

We disassembled all the pieces. We took apart that bed that comforted her little self for more than two years. We replaced it with a real bed and a side rail. She laid herself down and we pulled the new comforter up to her chest. She was so tiny in that big girl bed. She was three years old.

The nice thing about a quaint farm house is that the rooms are nestled together. For three years she has slept next door to us. Her door has stayed open and she has yelled out to us and we have comforted her and reassured her that we are here and will keep her safe. And when you are a mere five steps away, that job seems easy.

We took the rail off her bed. We carried it upstairs to store it. Then we carried her bed upstairs. We followed it with her dresser, clothes, hamper, lamp, and toys. We added a rug and some curtains. That wooden staircase has never looked so long to me as it does at 3 a.m. when I climb it to check on her. Then down the hall, and into her new room. She looks even tinier in her bed in that huge room that is too far away from me. But she loves it. I wasn't ready. She was.

Chris and I were pretty nervous about moving her so far away. She's a sensitive child with very big, very real, usually justified fears. But one lesson I am learning as a parent is that we have to sometimes nudge our children into something a little uncomfortable, a little unknown. Would I love to keep her five steps away from me forever? Yes. But a famous saying comes to mind in situations like these...There are two things every child needs. One is roots. The other is wings.