Just Your Typical Week

For three years now I've been trying to make people understand what life is like living with a honey badger.  A lot of Mom's stop and think What is wrong with my child?  Yep, most of my friends have admitted that one time or another they thought something was seriously wrong with their child.  Including me.

Eliza is now three and a half and continues to live up to her nickname.  I just cannot understand where her thoughts, actions, and words come from a lot of the time.  I seriously think that she may have lived among large rodents in her former life because 1. she is fascinated by them and 2. everything else she is fascinated with is weird.

At the age of three she has the uncanny ability to one-up everyone around her.  For example, if you call her a name, she will call you a name that is just a little meaner.  If you hit her, she will go for the hair.  If you go for her hair in retaliation, she will go for the Barbie-to-the-face move.  And sometimes she will just pull out the stunts that leave me wondering if it's more appropriate to laugh or to punish.

In just one week's time, the following events took place...

*Eliza asked me for a banana muffin. I said, Sure, but just one. She then lifted her middle finger, pointed at it with her other hand, and said, I want this one. In other words, she is now using her middle finger to indicate the number one oooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrr she is letting me know precisely what she thinks of my rule of just one muffin. Disclaimer: Chris and I NEVER use the middle finger.  Honey badgers just have instincts I guess.

* We have been called the following names....Old Salsa, Bleeding Chicken, and Vagina Fart.  Yepper. Now I will admit the Eliza has used both the terms vagina and fart many times before.  But what on earth possessed her little mind to put the two together and call her Daddy this name? 

* On Sunday we visited Grammy and Pop-Pop's church.  Grammy was presenting the children's story.  When all the kids were invited to come sit at the front of the church, Eliza did not want to join them.  Grammy was handing out crackers and other hands-on objects for the story.  It wasn't until Grammy reached into her basket and pulled out old, dirty animal bones that Eliza decided she wanted to hear the story.  So we marched to the front of the church and she held the old bone in her hand and asked, Can we eat them?

*After church we were heading back home to so I took the girls into the bathroom to change their clothes.  Eliza had taken off her dress and was standing in the stall topless with only her tights on.  And while I reached to help Isis with her clothes, Eliza crawled under the door and turned off the lights.  In case you were wondering, yes, there were other women in the bathroom.  And in case you were wondering, yes, she did it twice.

*When we were in Mexico we bought each of the girls a little figurine.  We bought Isis a caterpillar and Eliza a skunk.  When we gave it to her she informed us it was not a skunk, but was indeed a possum.

It's a hard job raising a member of such species.  You never know just when she might turn on you.  One minute she is prancing around in pink dance costumes singing excerpts from the Sound of Music and Annie.  She is looking at pictures talking about how beee-uuuu-tiful and so pretty things are. But don't turn your back on her because she changes fast. Just your typical week....with a honey badger.